SLowly but shortly
its a small town,
full of your
distant devotion,
twisted on a tainted rooftop,
a do it yourself guide
for the serve yourself servants,
if only it was written in daylight
for more to see (more)
of the how to (help, how?)
slowing you down,
about the way you dream
and dream, dream of
wars and a feeling
you missed someplace back there,
in your own world of feelings
in here
(in here)
its only perception of faith
and struggles with the agreements
you never make by yourself,
the silenced sores
so loud,
well why not?
arent they your only reminder
of your thoughts that day?
dream, dream of
wars and a
lonely nights,
haunt me with a time,
when i hadnt touched
another living thing
for weeks,
and a hug was the only thing
that reminded me i wasnt alone...
in the cold,
on an east-west leading road,
divided by the white-ish dotted lines,
the distance between my thoughts
and the space between our minds,
ending with a slow-released breath
and more than fog on the windscreen
The moments slip by in rushes
and slow stuttered visions,
good or not so,
waved off with a smile
to be forgotten again,
left for another lonely moment
in a place not so lonely,
but just as crowded
and so far from home
it was all so unexpected,
the way you never expect the rain
at the end of a year long drought.
the way her moonlit hair
the only warmth for miles,
blew in the wind,
just softly enough to emphasise
the rocks beneath her feet.
it was all so unexpected,
the leaves beneath her bed,
the scattered flowers on the floor.
the way her voice cut threw the fog,
an early morning haze,
an urgent message to her love
she sang so peacefully.
the rose she held,
her grip so tight
the thorns pierced her skin,
she threw below,
down to the waters crash
upon the rocks so cold.
it was all so unexpected,
the confidence of her leap,
the flight,
Its just another scar to hide,
that in no way will remove,
only to be disguised
amongst my other battle wounds,
its not the pain that hurts the most
its more the memories,
from times gone by,
they often lie
and distort cosmetically,
the tissue that grows over thee
only tears more easily,
every time i relapse again
or someone reminds me,
and once again the process begins,
taking time to heal,
i often feel like i did one time
when those age old scars appeared
these notes of my life so far,
maps written organicly on my skin,
like counting rings inside a tree,
are a measure of my age,
(they'll stick with me permanently,
Im stuck in this place,
The only way out to crack the shell,
theres no air for me to breathe,
just a six sided shape, to imagine myself out of
sleep is relief,
from the pain i must feel,
the darkness to watch over me,
only he can
shrill screams shouted,
by my hero of the night,
my last chance
washed away (by) the smell of defeat,
sail away,
black cloud that shrouds me,
day by day,
sleep can save me
from a mental suicide
Please get up....
You came around to tell me its not workin out,
Please get up...
First time I've seen you in two weeks,
Please get up…
You could have stayed for coffee,
But you don't like coffee
Do You?
You can't seem to tell can you?
How much I love you,
I can't seem to get it through,
What I feel for you,
You'll never know
When I've cried for you
Now its your turn, Please get up…
Stop bleeding on the carpet,
Get up off the floor…
I didn't mean it…
Stop limping, it wasn't that hard,
I didn't mean it…
It seems a bit extreme
When you drown in your own blood,
But that's what happened,
Please just get up….
Walk away and
a bottle of fun
just a twist cap away,
a safety net for my fall,
im afraid of falling,
tomorrow morning
ill already be on the floor
the fun we had,
on the grass with my stomach,
but who needs memories
'less you live in the past?
no regrets
when you've got no memories,
no complaints
when your hands are full,
sleep all day, sleep off sore heads,
we'll be back at the river tonight
my glasses are empty,
so is my head,
what can i do?
what now is left?
my life is so empty,
please drop me gently
and life still reminds me of you,
your twists and the turns
and sometimes im sick,
i love it always,
like a single tear
slit a soft cheek.
all i can hide is my love
for things i cant have,
i dont care what you did,
that stare, those eyes,
could make me forget
my natural expression
tears of thought
of what i did wrong.
i convince myself
that im really crying,
that my heart and eyes
arent just lying,
and what hurts most,
your so close i can feel you,
but i cant reach you.
i said too much.
i hate what i did,
that stare, those eyes,
could i make you forget??
I cant see my hand
in front of my face,
but i can see you
and your beautiful face,
the fog rolls away
and its time for the race,
to your heart, for your love,
to that wonderful place
A race for a prize
worthy of all our lives,
over water, through fires,
so many have tried,
so many still cry
but the magic still drives,
i often did wonder
but now i know why
I've wandered so long,
dont know how to go back,
spose it'd be wrong
if i ever turned back,
for now theres one less thing
that i do not have,
now nothings more special, nothing as few,
nothing as true, as my love for you
Are these dreams nightmares,
they arent really that sweet,
my depressive search for answers
continues in my sleep,
the face returns to haunt me,
i cant move from my knees,
the bed sheets stained with tear drops
and blood from wounds that weep,
the pain that rests inside me
recurring as a dream,
in worlds that only i feel
and only i believe,
the only way you'll ever know,
words uttered in my sleep,
a message from where i go
when im leaving here,
senses fuel emotion,
impossible to concieve,
my mouth cannot pronounce
the things i sometimes feel,
my eyes are never looking,
though i can always see,
the hurting that still hid
and life still reminds me of you,
your twists and the turns
and sometimes im sick,
i love it always,
like a single tear
slit a soft cheek.
all i can hide is my love
for things i cant have,
i dont care what you did,
that stare, those eyes,
could make me forget
my natural expression
tears of thought
of what i did wrong.
i convince myself
that im really crying,
that my heart and eyes
arent just lying,
and what hurts most,
your so close i can feel you,
but i cant reach you.
i said too much.
i hate what i did,
that stare, those eyes,
could i make you forget??
a bottle of fun
just a twist cap away,
a safety net for my fall,
im afraid of falling,
tomorrow morning
ill already be on the floor
the fun we had,
on the grass with my stomach,
but who needs memories
'less you live in the past?
no regrets
when you've got no memories,
no complaints
when your hands are full,
sleep all day, sleep off sore heads,
we'll be back at the river tonight
my glasses are empty,
so is my head,
what can i do?
what now is left?
my life is so empty,
please drop me gently
Please get up....
You came around to tell me its not workin out,
Please get up...
First time I've seen you in two weeks,
Please get up…
You could have stayed for coffee,
But you don't like coffee
Do You?
You can't seem to tell can you?
How much I love you,
I can't seem to get it through,
What I feel for you,
You'll never know
When I've cried for you
Now its your turn, Please get up…
Stop bleeding on the carpet,
Get up off the floor…
I didn't mean it…
Stop limping, it wasn't that hard,
I didn't mean it…
It seems a bit extreme
When you drown in your own blood,
But that's what happened,
Please just get up….
Walk away and
Im stuck in this place,
The only way out to crack the shell,
theres no air for me to breathe,
just a six sided shape, to imagine myself out of
sleep is relief,
from the pain i must feel,
the darkness to watch over me,
only he can
shrill screams shouted,
by my hero of the night,
my last chance
washed away (by) the smell of defeat,
sail away,
black cloud that shrouds me,
day by day,
sleep can save me
from a mental suicide
Its just another scar to hide,
that in no way will remove,
only to be disguised
amongst my other battle wounds,
its not the pain that hurts the most
its more the memories,
from times gone by,
they often lie
and distort cosmetically,
the tissue that grows over thee
only tears more easily,
every time i relapse again
or someone reminds me,
and once again the process begins,
taking time to heal,
i often feel like i did one time
when those age old scars appeared
these notes of my life so far,
maps written organicly on my skin,
like counting rings inside a tree,
are a measure of my age,
(they'll stick with me permanently,
it was all so unexpected,
the way you never expect the rain
at the end of a year long drought.
the way her moonlit hair
the only warmth for miles,
blew in the wind,
just softly enough to emphasise
the rocks beneath her feet.
it was all so unexpected,
the leaves beneath her bed,
the scattered flowers on the floor.
the way her voice cut threw the fog,
an early morning haze,
an urgent message to her love
she sang so peacefully.
the rose she held,
her grip so tight
the thorns pierced her skin,
she threw below,
down to the waters crash
upon the rocks so cold.
it was all so unexpected,
the confidence of her leap,
the flight,
The moments slip by in rushes
and slow stuttered visions,
good or not so,
waved off with a smile
to be forgotten again,
left for another lonely moment
in a place not so lonely,
but just as crowded
and so far from home
lonely nights,
haunt me with a time,
when i hadnt touched
another living thing
for weeks,
and a hug was the only thing
that reminded me i wasnt alone...
in the cold,
on an east-west leading road,
divided by the white-ish dotted lines,
the distance between my thoughts
and the space between our minds,
ending with a slow-released breath
and more than fog on the windscreen
I'm sick of practicing self-image in the shower
composing poems to open air
making symphony redundant
so
let's argue loudly 'bout the hour
or I can go on pretending
you're just really late
or I can go on
just pretending
retiring the sound of my own voice
(whichever one it may be)
since it's this minute
more than most
that matters
searching for a place to do my screaming at
stars down from sky
down to earth
to dust
and back again
'til the bits and parts of sparkle
stolen from someone surely not mine
ignite
and rest comfortable
in degrees
ascending
there's no smoke yet
but I'm trying
and life still reminds me of you,
your twists and the turns
and sometimes im sick,
i love it always,
like a single tear
slit a soft cheek.
all i can hide is my love
for things i cant have,
i dont care what you did,
that stare, those eyes,
could make me forget
my natural expression
tears of thought
of what i did wrong.
i convince myself
that im really crying,
that my heart and eyes
arent just lying,
and what hurts most,
your so close i can feel you,
but i cant reach you.
i said too much.
i hate what i did,
that stare, those eyes,
could i make you forget??